If you know me, then you're aware that I always have an unquenchable thirst. Really, it's nearly impossible for me to sate my parched mouth. People have even asked me if I have diabetes or something. I have just accepted that I will be forever plagued with this insatiable thirst. Alas, such is my fate. That and a resting face that looks like a scowl.
Anyway, I brought a thermos of coffee with me and I was quickly guzzling through it. About three-quarters through the service, I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to get a drink. Obviously I had spotted a water source as soon as I walked into the church. Strangely enough, I hadn't scoped out a restroom, although I knew that it would most likely be near the water fountain.
So, I slipped out into the main lobby during worship, thermos-in-hand (I had of course chosen a seat at the end of the aisle) and I almost immediately found the restroom. Yes, I was right; it was in the same location as the water fountain. It was a single-person bathroom, and the door was clearly ajar, so I just walked right in.
No worries, it was empty. And nice, I gotta say. You can tell a lot from a place by the way they treat their bathrooms. I mean, it's a great place to reflect and be still. Makes sense for a church to have a nice restroom, am I right?
I only had to make a quick visit here. It wasn't even 11 am yet, but I had already downed about 2 liters of water AND some coffee. So, I had to go. As I mentioned, it was a very neat and tidy restroom, and I once heard that "if it's neat, take a seat". So I did just that.
Now I was full of liquid here, so sitting was a good idea. Squatting would've been a nice workout, though. All of a sudden, the door swings open and I'm staring straight into the eyes of some middle-aged dude.
Trauma.
He quickly apologizes and closes the door. I'm like a deer in headlights. What was I to do? Spring to my feet and close the door? Just sit there and try to cover up? Before I knew it, he was out of sight. Good.
And ALMOST IMMEDIATELY, another guy opens the door. This dude was older than the first guy and looked seriously freaked out. What in the world? Do people here not know that you should knock before you open the door to a restroom?
Forget about finishing my business, I just try to get out of there as quickly as possible. I practically pounce on the door handle and click the lock. Apparently the click I heard the first time wasn't the lock. Hmph. I wash my hands and get out of there.
I'm so freaked out that I forget to flush the toilet, so I backtrack and do so while the restroom door is open. At this point I don't even care if anyone hears it. I peek my head around the corner to check if the two intruders are there, but the lobby is totally deserted. The coast is clear.
I slink back to my seat, grab my fiance's hand, lean over, and whisper in his ear. "We can never come back to this church again." He gives me a puzzled look and I explain what happens. He holds back a laugh and says that I have to tell his parents. It's just too ridiculous.
Service ends 5 minutes later, and I tell them about it. We share a laugh, but I'm still traumatized and vow that the only way I can return to this church (that I actually really liked) is to cut my hair a new way or something. Everyone assures me that it'll all be okay. The restroom invaders will forget about it soon enough.
I have an easier time believing that than I do the fact that men don't knock before entering a restroom. May this be a lesson to us all.
No comments:
Post a Comment