Anxiety

Anxiety. It seemed to be the hot topic of the various conversations I've had today. What is anxiety? Well, basically anxiety is the feeling of stress and alertness people feel after the stressing event or situation has passed. Pay attention: after the stressor has passed. So, even though the stressful thing is over and done with, anxiety continues to loom over your head and rain down big drops of worry. Sound familiar? It does for me!

I do believe that I am getting much better at handling my anxiety. Constant worrying has been a complement to my eating disorder, but I've always been a worrier. It might always be my instinct to fret about something, but I am doing a good job of recognizing what needs to be worried about and what is simply out of my control.

Take this afternoon, for example. My boyfriend asked me to hang out, but I honestly felt like I just needed to be alone. I wasn't feeling social, and that's fine! He was totally cool with it, and told me to just take some space for myself. Yet, I couldn't let it go! I was anxious:

Oh my gosh, he's going to think I'm so selfish. I'm so selfish! I can't even go hang out with my boyfriend when he wants to see me. Selfish! 

Fortunately, I was able to use a strategy I learned in treatment. Thought challenging! I love this coping skill. I simply take the feeling that I have, and challenge it with reality.

Thought/feeling: I'm selfish.                    
Reality: I am not selfish for needing to spend some time alone.

Thought/feeling: My boyfriend will be angry.
Reality: He told me it was okay to be alone!

I feel better already. Nothing is wrong with taking some time for yourself (this applies to everyone!) Besides, I've decided that life is way too short for me to be at war with my body, myself, or with anyone else for that matter.

Tonight I am spending some time alone. I am going to make an awesome dinner for myself, take a walk, and curl up with a book. Might even throw some dessert in there. :)