I have counted calories on several occasions since I've left treatment. It concerns some people close to me who think this is a bad idea, and you know what? They're probably right. I've got enough anxiety as it is; do I really want to painstakingly calculate the calories, fat, protein, etc. in everything I'm eating? No! My goal has always been to have normalized eating, and "normal" people don't count everything they eat. Some people are fine with counting calories. All I know is that this habit is a destructive one for me, and I just don't need that right now - or ever!
In treatment, they had us counting "exchanges," which would be your starches, fats, proteins, dairy products, fruits, and vegetables. I would be required to eat so many fat exchanges and starch exchanges and fruit exchanges. This habit gave me a bit of anxiety...if I were eating out or at someone's house, I'd feel weird or as if I were skimping if I didn't get the set number of exchanges I was supposed to get. I also got fed up with fitting so many exchanges into my daily eating. So once I left treatment, I decided that counting exchanges was not good for me either.
I'm not counting calories. I'm not counting exchanges. Ah! Now what?
I have a quote on my bathroom mirror: "Eating is not a crime. It's normal. It just is."
It just is! We are all different; my eating habits and dietary needs are going to be different from yours, and from my boyfriend's, and from my friends' from treatment. As long as I am eating a variety of colorful foods each day, I am good! The re-feeding process and getting weight restored has been extremely difficult, but look at how far I've come! My weight has been steady (and healthy) for about two weeks now, and I have not been counting my calories, nor my exchanges. Our bodies are incredible things; they know what we need and what we don't. It's about time I started listening to my body, not my disorder.
No comments:
Post a Comment